Fortune's Call

Fortune's Call by Gnoll
Unnamed Between the Rock and a Hardplace Unnamed Come Sail Away Maybe somewhat of a plot again Lion's Share Fortune's Call Solid Unnamed Deep Journey Training Day? Unnamed
Discussion
April Fool's edition

Also known as Rape-Jehral-and-Touch-his-Nose Quest, a quest by Gnoll about a DFC reverse-trap dragonbold questing for a coherent plot.

Also Nako is in it, though the time frame is still ambiguous.

Characters

Major Characters

Rynh

A half-dragon, half-kobold mercenary who finds herself tangled up in a plot to resurrect an ancient god. Exact age unknown due to her chaotic youth, though she is likely mid to late twenties. She was raised in a farming town until her thirst for adventure got the better of her and she ran off to join a mercenary company. Likes bacon (though less than originally thought). Also wants to quit dicking around and go on a FUCKING MAGICAL ADVENTURE.

Jehral

A half-elf half-kobold scout. Accompanies Rynh on her journey. Prone to being raped. Surprisingly little is known about him, considering his apparent role as main supporting character.

Nako

A large breasted goblin with some experience with explosives. As is typical for her race, she has no issues with murder, rape, theft, arson, assault or rape. This makes her effective during sieges, town raids and also popular back at base~

Thodren

A minotaur barbarian with considerable physical strength. Outside of battle he is reasonably good natured and usually quite loud. He is disappointed by the lack people willing to enter into headbutting contests with him. You cannot ignore his girth.

Minor Characters

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  Dagnyr, gnoll mercenary

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  Leimahtaa, Rynh's mom

Plot

This article contains spoilers! You were warned.

Chapter One

While on a mercenary job invading a castle, Rynh decides that smuggling an ancient artifact out of the castle is in ther best interest. She then proceeds to masturbate, sexually assault Jehral, loose her bacon as a casualty to a fight, and learn a bit more about about the magic trinket she smuggled.

Chapter Two: Between the Rock and a Hardplace

Rynh kills an annoying rat guy with her bear(dragon) hands. Then she buys some knives and armor and takes a caravan to a goblin town, dragging Jehral along with her. Then she goes shopping again, buying some new clothes and a book on magic. She starts studying on a rock outside the town as a shadowy figure approaches.

Chapter Three

Rynh beats up a shadowy figure that ambushes her, Jehral learns that Rynh is a girl, Doobanicus shows up, gets owned, Rynh gets drunk off her ass, wakes up with a hangover, cuddles Jehral, gets puked on, gets topless and plays with Jehral, has an amusing conversation with some dwarves, gets a hard-on for Jehral, makes a number of inappropriate comments, flirts with Jehral some more, and gets on a boat.

Chapter Four: Come Sail Away

Rynh gets some training on in an elf city, as well as a new change of clothes, while Jehral gets swarmed by elf girls. Rynh does some crazy magic shit and makes ice bridges, sexually assaults Jehral again, shows some kobolds that she's a motherfucking dragon, meets her mom, learns about an ancient god and learns how to polymorph.

Chapter Five: Maybe somewhat of a plot again

Rynh meets her probably-half-brother, visits her mom again, learns to fly, or at least crash, electrocutes a rabbit, sits on Jehral, beats up Thodren, decides to be a balanced magical fighter, chooses a mercenary job, and then chooses some mercenaries to go with it.

Chapter Six: Lion's Share

Rynh fights a manticore with Thodren, Jehral, and Gustav, sees more of Thodren than she wants to, talks about magic with Gustav, talks about boys and explosions with Nako, makes plans to destroy a war golem, fights with Jehral, teases Jehral, hugs Jehral, and goes off by herself to blow things up.

Chapter Seven: Fortune's Call Solid

Rynh sneaks around, kills a few guards, beats up a tacky scarf ninja, keeps the tacky scarf, kills a few guards, hits a strong man in the facial hair, sets him on fire, kills a few guards, finds the golem, steals shiny bits of the golem, blows up the golem, sets the golem on fire, runs away from the golem, meets an ogre, sets the ogre on fire, sets the mountain on fire, blows up the mountain, and goes home.

Chapter Eight

Rynh considers how to spend her newfound wealth, finds out there are way too many kinds of sword, gets her hair done, puts Jehral in a dress, buys Jehral a drink, fights with Thodren to avenge her breakfast, chooses another mercenary job, and chooses some more mercenaries to go with it.

Chapter Nine: Deep Journey

Rynh and her group meet the archaeologist, fight some gnolls, blow up a historic site, do not get shot with lasers, get zapped with magic locks, hide behind each other, fight kobolds in a scary costume, set a ghoul on fire, look for shiny things, unleash an unspeakable evil, do some archaeology, and go home.