Doolbag's Mission
Adventures of a fat man-child as he endeavours to recover his sweet ass-boombox.
Contents
Story
 This article contains spoilers! You were warned.
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Chapter 1
Doolbag begins the search for his beloved Sweet Ass-Boombox. He unsuccessfully tries to find it at a snowball bar, before attempting to set it on fire. He continues his search elsewhere. While sticking flyers over the town, he encounters Officer Murder, who has the intention of beating him brutally. Sticking a flyer onto the face of Murder, and running away, Doolbag begins his descent into the criminal world. He is then met by an old man in the alley, who volunteers to follow him on his quest. Doolbag agrees, and they find their way to the playground. Despite it being unsuccessful, Doolbag finds some cards for his Magyik deck, so it isn't all a loss. The old man is also left behind as he becomes stuck in a children's play-tube.
After leaving the playground (with some extra boots), Doolbag finds his way to the Supermarket, but before he can make it inside, is confronted by hoodlums. Using his acting ability, he skillfully mimics a hoodlum, and by using the old man in the tube as a distraction, diffuses the situation effectively. Inside the supermarket, Doolbag is at a loss. He cannot find the sweet ass-boombox anywhere, and despite his best efforts, all he can find are discounted chocolate bars.
Later, he is contacted by MacDeath, a skeleton who notices his affinity for fire, and sees him as useful in part of his plan. MacDeath takes Doolbag with him to meet Bear, a talking bear, who is also involved in MacDeath's plan. Bear has a lot of beer and food in his cave, as well as video games.
On the way to the arsonist's meeting, Bear (riding his motorcycle) is pulled over by Officer Murder, who does not recognise Doolbag at the time. Doolbag however, panics and sticks another flyer onto Murder's face, before the trio are forced to flee. Murder gives chase, but is thrown off (perhaps literally). He commandeers a semi-trailer to resume his chase, but ultimately is forced to stop as he crashes into a childcare centre.
Doolbag and co. make it to their destination, 15 full minutes before they are due. In the meeting, Doolbag meets Buttersworthington, a fancy fellow with a plan to cause a large fire. Seeing potential in Doolbag, he invites him on the trip after offering him a bottle of scotch. Doolbag, fully intoxicated, is given the duty of manning the heavy flamethrower atop the vehicle. His target: the police station along with Officer Murder. However, despite giving the order, Buttersworthington is completely unaware that Officer Murder is not in the building, and thus escapes immolation.
Characters
Doolbag
An innocent but overweight lad, thrown into a cruel and uncaring world by the loss of his most prized possession; his Sweet Ass-Boombox. May or may not have a penchant for all things fiery. An adept player of Magyik: The Garnering.
Doolbag
A mostly innocent but overweight boy, thrown into a cruel and uncaring world by the loss of his most prized possession; his Sweet Ass-Boombox.
Officer Murder
A large and angry police officer, he is on a mission to bring down Doolbag's crime spree with his own brand of justice, which is heavy-handed, to say the least.
MacDeath
An old skeleton, who accompanies Doolbag on his adventures. He is old.
Bear
As his name implies, Bear (with a capital 'B') is literally a talking grizzly bear. He likes beer and television. He is a friend of Doolbag, introduced through MacDeath.
Old Paedophile
This fellow helped Doolbag (or was it stalked?) during his initial search for the sweet ass-boombox. He was abandoned in a children's play-tube in the park, and was likely beaten up subsequently.
